Tired and Emotional

Today was tough. Started off ok with a meeting about our ICT services which we have been trying to sort out for ages. A positive meeting. Got some paperwork finished. Things seemed calm.

Then the TA from the support group came to let me know that one of the boys was behaving in a very off the wall way. I suggested that she give it ten minutes to see if he would settle. He did. The next thing I hear is that the child that is leaving for another school has been behaving in a very threatening way towards the TA and has pushed her against the wall. She is very shaken but ok. I know then that he can’t stay. I also know that he is going to visit his new school in about an hour and a half and that there is no way his mum is going to get to school in that time. In conjunction with his teacher I decide that we hold on to him until I take him to the new school, but that he should not return tomorrow. We both feel sad. On many levels. For the TA who he has hurt, for him as he has now to leave us under a cloud. It does, however, reaffirm for us that we have made the right decision about his placement.

I know that when I tell him he is going to fly off the handle. He does. He flies into the playground and up a tree. I manage to talk him into calming down enough to get into my car, ready to go. On the way to the car we go via my office and I get him the ‘school pen’ leaving present that I had promised him.

I tell him that his teacher and myself will keep in touch and that we will come and visit him in September. I can see how upset he is. On the way out of the building he sees the TA that he hurt and calls her a liar and a bitch. I keep him walking but I know that the words have gone in and that they have hurt. I will talk to her when I get back.

In the car he is quiet. We chat a bit about what he is going to be doing during the summer. There is support for the family and he tells me all the activities that they have planned for him. The sadness in the car is palpable. There are adults he trusts, and those he doesn’t.

We chat a bit about the children at the school that he already knows. He seems a bit unsure, for the first time. As we get to the school early we wait in the car for a bit. We chat a bit more. Then we get out of the car and I take him in where he is welcomed and whisked away. I breathe a deep sigh.

On my return to school I arrive back just in time to greet the local MP who has come to do the presentations in the Y6 Leaver’s Assembly. The assembly is lovely. There are the usual tears. This is followed by our Summer BBQ. I walk and talk with the MP, we do the public relations bit and he leaves.

As I am walking back across the playground I see the suicidal dad. I stop and talk to him. He says ‘thank you for everything’. I tell him that he must think of his son, he must think of his son and the impact it would have on him. I move on as I know there is no point in being drawn into a conversation. He knows how to contact the people who can help him. I do, however, let my PFSL and the community worker know what has just happened. I then see the TA and I go to talk to her. She is amazing. She has incredible resilience. The words had hurt, as I knew they had, but she understood where they had come from and she was upset that he had messed up and would miss his last day. We talked for a while and I was then sure that she was ok.

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2 Responses to Tired and Emotional

  1. NorthernJim says:

    I hope you and your staff have the well deserved break you need. Blogs like this should be more widely circulated so that the general public appreciate how much dedication, effort and professionalism there is within teaching and how the negative propaganda issued from certain quarters in no way reflects what is happening in all schools. #RaisesWineGlass #Cheers

  2. Bigaitchc says:

    Look after yourself nd have a truly wonderful summer break, when it arrives tonight.

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